[ Hey guys, this is actually my first post here :3 but I've been a member of the Lovelyish community for a while, it's just been anonymously.. so here I am now! :D ]
I know that the hardships women face are numerous, from periods to taboos to societal pressures. However, I believe that the greatest hardship there is, is other women. The most difficult thing in a woman's life is something so crucial, yet so challenging to successfully do: balancing friendships and relationships, and though I am young and relatively inexperienced in the relationship department, friendship breakups are the kind I've had to deal with the most- hell, I've practically become the George Clooney of friendships (cutting myself off emotionally) because let's face it: even the best of friends can disappoint.
(Disclaimer: I'm not claiming that failure is inevitable in every friendship, I'm just saying that I really know how to pick 'em.)
Exhibit A: Ashley.
In my final year, I have had two friends who have been, er, disappointing in the friendship department as soon as their love lives have picked up. My first friend, let's call her *Ashley*, has been my best friend for two years. I've held her hand through heartbreak, time after time with the same guy, *Ethan*, a guy who I'd grown to distrust and despise for the way he's treated her. She claimed they used to be friends, but as soon as they actually hooked up he began to act odd and uncomfortable. They didn't speak for the next 6 months (which at high school is quite awkward as they saw each other every day), and she was devastated by it. He'd broken her spirit, and I hated him bitterly for what he'd turned her into.
Fast forward to this year. Ethan and Ashley begin to talk again, and I swear I've never seen Ashley this happy. But me, being the skeptic friend, I can't help but think that he's just going to hurt her again. I often questioned her about her intentions with him, and she vowed that she would never 'catch feelings' for him again after the way he'd treated her in the past. I was relieved; she hadn't lost her senses (or so I'd thought). We made a pact to not let boys dictate any aspect of our lives, and we'd simply let go and have careless fun this year. Less than two months later, she calls me up ecstatically. "ERMAHGERD Ethan JUST asked me to be his girlfriend!!"
Well…this is awkward.
From then on I didn't see much of Ashley. At school she was always with Ethan, when we texted it was always about Ethan, when I asked if she wanted to come to hangouts with friends she'd ask if Ethan was coming. It came to a point that she began to disgust me (I know, I'm an awful human being) how clingy and obsessed she was. I began to push her away, not answering her texts, not wanting to hang out anymore, and interestingly enough, she couldn't for the life of her understand why.
Then there was this whole thing where she started spreading rumours about me and almost succeeded in turning all my friends against me but thaaat's another story for another time.
Exhibit B: Candice.
After the fallout with Ashley, *Candice* and I became best friends. She was fun, kind, exciting, and enthusiastic about everything I cared about too. We also made the pact: more fun, less stress, especially about guys. But then she began to obsess about this guy, *Neil*. She informed me that they agreed to have no arrangement; they were just 'having fun', as he put it, no strings attached, no expectations. Except that was kinda shot to hell, because she was so head-over-heels in love with him that she became profusely upset whenever he hooked up with any other girls or didn't text her. She was becoming Ashley. And the worst thing is that Neil has propositioned me on several different occasions with no regards to Candice whatsoever. (Of course I declined.)
I don't understand why it is so difficult for the whole bros-over-hoes concept to be grasped by females, besides the obvious sex miscorrelation. When I had an 8-month relationship I made it a priority not to lose sight of the importance of my friendships. Can other people not do the same?
For me, it all boils down to this:
A) Am I the Good-Luck-Chuck of friendships?
B) Is it possible for girls to balance friendship and relationship?
C) Or...is it me?