So there was this girl in my college class, who i had classes with twice a week. The first time i walked into class, she kinda caught my attention cause she was by far one the most cutest and attractive girls in that class.
Well the teacher had set us up into groups so that we could get to know each other and talk about our interests to one another. And it so happened that this girl and I were placed in the same group. We were 5 in the group, so on the first day we sort of just started introducing ourselves to each other and i couldn't help it than to look at her when it always came to her turn cause she had like these blue/hazel eyes that you just can't stop looking into and plus she was very cute also.
So some few days later, the teacher asked us to get into our usual groups. But this time around it was just me, her and some other girl cause the other 2 people in our group were absent that day. While we were doing the class activity assigned to us, she and i seem to be talking very much and i was kinda joking around with her sometimes and she was smiling back at me and stuff like that. I'll say we kinda had like a connection or something. The following week, i walked into class but this time i was kinda late and shockingly to my dismay, i notice this girl giving me a huge smile plus the puppy eyes. So i smiled back at her and sat behind her. Minutes later she turned around like she was trying to get something from her bag and blushed while smiling at me again.
This whole thing went on for about a week and sometimes she would sit in front me and talk in a sexy tone/voice when the teacher is lecturing to get my attention maybe?. And other time she would just lean backwards to my chair with her neck to the side. But the only thing is I never really spoke to her that much after our last group conversation. But then again there were moments where i wanted to talk to her but i didn't really know what to say or talk bout, so i just keep quiet for the rest of the class period. I'll even sometimes just leave immediately when class is over without speaking to her. But to me i thought all those things she was doing was just her way of being nice or friendly and little did i know that she actually liked me and was probably interested in me too, when I told a friend of mine about the whole situation.
Weeks later, I realized she wasn't smiling at me anymore when i walked into class and she sometimes gave me this cold attitude like not noticing me or not greeting me if i greeted her. She wouldn't even sit in front of me anymore. So i decided not to sit around her and didn't greet her as well also. This time we got into groups again and i dropped something on the floor not intentionally but since i wanted to pick it up, i noticed she was reaching for it and gave it to me without even looking at me, I even said thanks but she didn't respond either. Even during our group activity, she wouldn't even look at me and kept brushing me off or cutting me short each time i tried to talk or give an idea to the other group members. It was clear to me that this girl was really pissed at me for reasons which i didn't know.
I was kind of mad over the whole incident that i decided to just give her space and not talk to her for treating me like that. But i decided to just get over it and to even try talking to her the next time i saw her in class. So the next day, I said hello to her and tried to find out how she's doing but she seemed so excited/happy that it got me confused as to what's making her so excited in that manner. Next thing, she asked me a question but she did it without looking at me while on her phone, so i responded to her question, but she still wasn't looking at me until she turn away. I have even noticed at times on other days and weeks we had classes before that she sometimes takes a glance at me whenever i walked in class and i also glance back at her.
We had a short break holiday from school and then when we came back, I saw her again standing outside of class and while i was walking, i was smiling at her at the same time cause i was really in a good mood that day and i had sort of changed my hairstyle. So when she saw me, she had like this "oh my God" what a surprised look on her face. I don't know if it cause of my hairstyle or the fact that i was looking at her and smiling at the same time also. The funny thing is she didn't stop looking over to my side the whole time she saw me, she kept on looking at me even when i had stopped looking, she was still gazing at me until some other person from my class had noticed too. It kinda made me feel uncomfortable that she will look at me for that long, so i headed straight to class and she did too. While in class, we sat next to each other but it kinda felt awkward cause we were both nervous around each other especially after that long gaze incident that had happened in the hallway outside class.
Honestly, I was wondering to myself why she felt so uncomfortable around me after that cause i taught she liked me and now she seemed nervous and uneasy. Or maybe because i was also making it obvious to her that i like her by the way i was also looking at her but not in a "Creepy" way at all. I still noticed she was looking around towards my direction while we were in class. After class, unknowingly to my knowledge I see her standing few feet away from me for about 5 mins like she's waiting to talk to me or waiting for me to talk to her. But i got cold feet and couldn't even move from my seat cause she just caught me off guard. I was dying to ask her to hang out with me but i was really scared she would say NO cause I'm a girl also btw (by the way). And a thing like this has never happened to me before where i develop a crush on another girl or maybe develop Feelings?
I mean since that day it happened, she never came back to class again and we only had one month left for the Semester to be over. I was very disappointed at myself for letting such an opportunity pass away by letting that girl go just like that. And now i think i realized i may have actually really really liked her than i thought i did even though we don't really know each other very well and my gut also told me She did liked me as well. We just couldn't communicate how we felt towards each other cause we were both shy. Since she's left it's been 5 months now and i can't help but think about her all the time. I also found her Facebook page and sent her a message but she never replied and i'm quite disappointed. I really wish we could meet again, if at all by then she hasn't hated me yet. So I’ll explain things to her and just try to be friends with her.
Is this Normal or Am i just Obsessing over something that was never even meant to be?